I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize