So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
