He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
