I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
