I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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