i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
