This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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