did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
