Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
