the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
