I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
