How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
