I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
