why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
