there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize