You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
