my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
