I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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