i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize