I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
