We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
