HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
