adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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