Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
