WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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