I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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