I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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