im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
