we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
please don't ironically join a cult
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