she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
