sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dick very happy bro
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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