the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I love you.
Bad choice
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
