i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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