who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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