Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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