am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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