sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
