U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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