singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
