i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
