he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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