The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
