I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Randomize
