sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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