walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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