I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
