he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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