In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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