My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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