Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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