Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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