i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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