so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
