All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
