Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
