i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
