Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
