so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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