Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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