I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
