my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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