been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
