somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
