eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm really busy with my period
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